reclaiming your space

It may be hard to think about changing your environment when you're feeling vulnerable or raw, but it's often one of the first steps towards finding peace. In my experience, it's also been a way to jumpstart more healing when I feel myself slipping backwards. Whether it be purging mementos and photographs, moving furniture, or completing simple DIY's... I think it comes down to two words: action and control.

In the first couple of weeks after my husband left I was immobilized. Getting my kids fed and off to school was about all of the action I could fathom. In these moments, having someone else help us is invaluable. I will forever be grateful to one of my best friends, who arrived with a bottle of champagne to toast to my book that had just been published (oh, the timing of it all!). I was in no mood to celebrate but she knew I needed to... she also recognized that there were some things I couldn't do on my own. Above my bed hung a painful memory like a bad dream... my handmade wedding dress. Years earlier I had lovinginly installed it as an ode to my marriage and a beautiful design element in lieu of a headboard... I wrote about it here - a bit sobering to reread.  My dear friend marched me up to my room (after a little bit of bubbly, thankfully) and said gently but firmly "That has to come down".  And she was right. I could never have done that on my own. The new blank space above my pillows (where my head rested every night) was empty... but it was a far better choice than keeping things as is.  From that point on- I was freed up to let go, get rid of, move around, and move on. Slowly, for sure. But steadily, no less.

Whether you need help from a friend or not... even if the changes are small... reclaiming your space is a way of taking back some control in your life. Your very unique story will dictate what kind of facelift your home might need. Listen to your instincts, they will surely lead you in the right direction.

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